Sometimes, life can feel stagnant. I’m in that thought/mood bubble right now. It made me think back to Haruhi’s Endless Eight, and how the repetition of daily life, no matter how great, can make you feel mundane (let’s pretend that this is a noun) and lost. Here’s what I wrote in my journal earlier this morning:
Where is my life headed right now?
I’ve enjoyed experimenting with setting up an online presence
Giving hours of thought on content creation and being a content creator
Motivated by different factors at different times like artistic expression, vocational ambition, personal growth, or just a way to interact among different communities
During these last few months, I’ve enjoyed exploring and learning about cultural differences
For example, when I’m on YouTube, I watch a lot of interviews on Asian and Korean people
Ultimately, I want the knowledge and skill to be able to reconcile and bridge cultural and personality differences in my communities
On the simplified side of things, it seems as though there are bad things in every country; no culture is perfect
It’s also true that there are good people everywhere, not to be overlooked by their place of origin
And it’s not a “it’s 2017″ kind of a thing
Love has always been love, kindness and respect has always been the same way
It’s how we appreciate and listen to others
As my perspective and outlook on life extends from momentary feelings to looking ahead say, a year, I have to ask, where is my life going?
And it’s kind of a scary thought, and a thought that can only come after certain stability and consistency has been established
It’s impossible to discern or care about this if my life remained in day to day chaos
Ellie has grounded me so much
Emotionally, and, in finding fulfillment in life
So for the first time in my life, I’m starting to accept that my life is what I make of it
I simply wasn’t able to consider life like this before
There is no perfect life; I can’t possibly learn and understand everything
I’ll always have flaws and blind spots
With the ever increasing understanding that Jesus is God’s greatest and perfect demonstration of His love
And that Jesus is God, and God is good–how will my life change?
With the current prospective career path underway, what will my life look like in a year, or 5?
Life has oddly become something I need to try enjoying in the present
But there’s an interesting shift from living life for the moment to living life in the moment
It’s about appreciating and practicing gratitude
Life is life
So significant and insignificant at the same time
Well there you have it. Haruhi says, “I wonder if this was good enough”. That’s sort of my mood of the day, wondering if the choices I’ve made in my life are good enough. And even though I know Jesus is ultimately the author of my story, I recognize that this is a very human feeling to have.
I’m hoping that I can unpack what happened this year as my birthday is once again approaching. Stay tuned, I guess? Head over to my Twitter if you want to find me active.